He knocked the door fifteen times as any other civilized well-bred Triangular would, and then he waited silently outside.
Discretion in a society where sex is so free and so needed is necessary. You can’t knock the door and demand someone to let you in immediately. On the contrary you have to wait. It is rude to interrupt someone’s orgasm since it is considered as a beneficial act for the triangular society. Beneficial because you are reproducing thus you are offering a new citizen secondly because you contribute to the general “tension relief” of the Trobe and thirdly as the triangular constitution mandates “No “in house” sex act should ever be interrupted by any reason or person.”
You see, we might be at the same levels of intelligence as the triangulars but our way of perceiving, as I explained before is quite focused to the point. A perfect example would be: in order to keep the planet going on we need energy so energy we will have. And you see that the Earthians build, try, dig, destroy, make war, work more, sometimes they are even enslaved. This is what the earthian perception demands, that they need to get to the point!
Now! In the Triangle planet you need energy, but the way of perceiving is different. The Trianglers before getting to the point, they measure all the three peripheral points of the main focus point. And this is when the point becomes part of your life and not your life.
What is there on planet Triangle in abundance, The trianglers thought?
SEX!
So they wore their thinking hats and not because they are more intelligent than us but because of their different way of perceiving, they developed a different kind of technology and they managed to turn house beds, Hotel beds, Brothels into power generators. That is why electricity in Triangle planet is called “Plasma Orgasmata.”
So there he was waiting silently and patiently for Rispa to finish her constitutional right, as well as her obligation to the planet. It didn’t take too long before three men and two girls opened the door and got out. “Only five?” he asked sneering, “Oh shut it! I would have invited you in but it seemed that you would spoil the general splendour” “Well probably I would have said no to your proposal” “You would have rejected me and all those things I can offer? Are you ill or something?” “maybe mentally he thought” “No I am not ill I am just in a bad state” “Well, by all means Mr grumpy come on in… Make yourself comfortable, you know where is the booze I trust, I will take some time to become again presentable”
* * *
Three hours later…
They were going through a dark dodgy alley when suddenly Rispa stopped in front of a disgustingly smelly trash can and exclaimed
“Here we are! Isn’t that brilliant?”
“Yes brilliant indeed, I haven’t smelled something so disgusting in years now… are you out of your mind? What are we doing here?”
“Babe it is just a cover. In there is the best club in Kar”
“Inside the trash can you mean? What kind of perversion is this?”
“Well I don’t think that it’s a perversion actually, if you think about it, it’s very intelligent. It’s the big opening today I found the flier on the street while I was going to the hairdresser's, it was immediately after meeting you actually, I found it very funny and in a weird sense original and inspiring… it wrote “Get trashed as you have never been before, in the Trash Can Today! BIG OPENING !!! Invitations only!” I thought that you would like it.”
“ok I really appreciate your extremely kind intentions but I am not in the mood of getting trashed today, can we go home?”
“Who spoke about you getting trashed today, I am getting trashed in the trash can and you will be watching me having fun… oh Come on babe… be fun! We will meet new people, which by the way many of them came from all around the planet today using the “Diameter Way””
“Oh fancy! Should I throw up now or later?”
“Monsi! Don’t be mean! Plus there is a “foreigner” today here.”
“Foreigner?”
“Yes you know, one of them! I’ve heard that there is no information concerning her previous whereabouts.”
“Oh the foreigner is a she…”
“Well yeah. I’ve seen her once in a party in Nath, she was dressed in something that looked almost like human skin and she was surrounded by thirty three people. When I asked around about her people told me not to stare… but seriously I couldn’t just take my eyes from her. Her hair had a weird yellow colour and she had a sort of extratriangle air, her name is Kikimora.”
“Kikimora? Like the animal?”
“Yes! They also informed me not to mention this in front of her.”
“Ok I see! And why would you like to meet her then?”
“Oh you know me I like being edgy!”
“Ok then… So how are we getting in the trash-kan?”
She grinned and took the two invitations out of her bag, she rumpled them quickly and gracefully she threw them into the trash, nothing happened… then a voice from nowhere said “State purpose and number of people please, then cry WOW”. Rispa went closer and shouted, “We are two People and we are here to GET TRASHED!!!!” She nodded at Monsi and Monsi added not enthusiastically at all “wow”. The trash-can moved and stairs were revealed…
* * *
Seven hours later…
“Did you really had to do this? Did you really had to insult her in such a way?”
“Oh come on, we had FUN”
“You had fun, I just got more confused than I was already”
“Confused about the AW, EK, PU ?”
“How do you know? Were you eavesdropping?
“You know very well that I don’t do that kind of things… plus do you really think that our meeting and my insisting coming here were just a coincidence? Really? And I thought that you were literally smart…”
* * *
Six hours prior…
The club was full of people but also full of clean, minimal spacious rooms for sitting, talking, drinking and having sex. The place was multileveled with each level corresponding to one colour. There was the white level the black the red and the yellow. Mind that the levels were not put boringly one upon the other on the contrary they were constructed in a very perplexed paradoxical way and were connected with even more paradoxical stairs. The spectacle could make you feel dizzy.
The service was really easy, there were some bartenders (men and women) walking around wearing tight elastic uniforms that were leaving exposed the body parts that could make a person excited, therefore you could not miss their breast, mouth, genitals, ass, armpits, belly buttons, feet, ears, neck, upper back and finally lower back and legs. The Twinkies for strictly safety reasons were left covered and protected. And of course there were also automated vending machines in the form of trashcans. The only thing you had to do was to say your order. The “trash-can” vending machine was providing you your drink accompanied by a voice wishing you “Be well trashed tonight at the Trash-can.”
The club was full of cats mainly back and white ones. Apparently cats are necessary creatures when we are talking about triangles. So, as was for the Egyptians and their pyramids so was for the Trianglers. Egyptians worshiped cats while trianglers appreciate cats, and as in earth you will almost always find a cat inside a trash-can therefore cats were strolling around in the trash-can.
Rispa got Monsi by the hand and went straight to the black level and sat on a black couch made of jelly having the shape of a triangular banana (no difference with the bananas on earth) next to them were sitting to friars dressed in dark green robes kissing passionately and mutually caressing their pricks (well it seemed that way) under their spacious uniforms. On the red level on the exact opposite side there was a strange figure. It was a tall rotunda-like womanly figure dressed in something that looked like black leather. Many people surrounded her and she had a colourful tiger sitting patiently next to her while looking hungrily at her distant relatives the wondering cats. The strange womanly figure reached her hand and caressed kindly the head of the tigress and said in a very caring tone “Now advice yourself dear. You don’t want to scare the poor animals. You’ve got lots of alive food back home.”
Monsi was mesmerized by her and her big cat and couldn’t take his eyes from her. Suddenly the womanly figure caught Monsi’s hypnotized gaze, she looked at him she smiled and she nodded and then most gracefully for a woman in her kilos and size, started approaching him. She was not exactly walking or gliding it was something in between, her way of moving created uneasiness in Monsi, there was something undefined about her presence a most curious sense of not belongingness. Rispa was looking also towards her and asked monsi “Why is Kikimora coming towards us”
“I was staring at her” said in an enchanted sort of way.
“well stop now you fool what did I tell you, before entering the bar? NOT TO STARE.”
“It’s all right sweet sweet child, let him stare… There is nothing bad in curiosity unless if you are curious about death… but today alas no one dies… today.” said an eerie voice and the womanly figure was suddenly sitting next to them. A trail of wet footprints had followed her. Monsi was still unable to speak, with a sudden terror he realized that the tigress had also left her spot and now she was sitting on his new shoes rubbing her lethal mouth on his trembling knees. “There is no reason to be afraid of Kiki my sweet sweet boy, she is as playful as a little kitten, no one plays with her and she feels lonely carress her head gently but be carefull you do not want to overexcite her.” Monsi had no other choice, the womanly-figure had her eyes on him, looking approvingly, expecting him to raise his hands to caress her beast and the tigress was now even more fiercely rubbing her head on his legs. With a lot of resentment he started slowly rubbing her head; the immediate result was frightening, the frequency of her purring was so loud that the made of jelly banana couch begun trembling so badly that all of them were bouncing up and down as if they were sitting on a trampoline. “Good, good!!! Now she is happy, no she owns you” and she gave him a smile. “Oh, hhhhh how nice” said Monsi and suddenly remembering that he is talking to a stranger he said “Well Sweet sweet lady (He thought it would be most appropriate since this woman, whatever she was, had already called them like this) I am Monsi and this is my sweet sweet friend Rispa, nice to meet you.” “It’s nice to meet you too sweet sweet children. I am Kikimora not that you don’t already know of course” and she smiled again. She had her hand raised as if she was waiting from Monsi to do something with that. Needless to say that in Planet triangle people do not greet shaking hands (No this is considered to be dirty) what they do is that they pinch the left nipple of the person they meet. Monsi raised his hand, the one that was caressing the tigress, to pinch kikimora’s nipple. When he did so Kikimora had a blank face full of surprise, she blushed and giggled, she blushed even more and giggled, then she raised her hand to pinch Monsi’s nipple, when she did that she already looked like a mature tomatoe and the giggling could not stop “Ah! Young children, so warm and alive, and so very different. They have told me so but I forgot” “You forgot what?” asked Monsi “OUCH” exclaimed before finishing his question mark, as he felt the tigress biting his finger. “No No No Kiki ! Bad Kiki !!! You got her overexcited sweet sweet boy. Come with me I will give you a remedy for that. My room is upstairs.” And said to Rispa “Sweet sweet girl please take care of her and remember do not overexcite her.”
She was leading the way through the crowd, her big round posture but also her eeriness made it quite easy. People were just stepping away usually staring having their mouths open (it is considered as politeness in triangle planet). Kikimora was just smiling to everyone and every once in a while she was muttering mainly to herself “Sweet sweet children, how alive how warm.” They reached the end of a corridor; in front of them there was a door, a big door. It was coloured with the colours of the forest, green, brown, grey, yellow and the blue of the rivers. Kikimora caressed the door in adoration and without the smile ever leaving her face pulled up her sleeve, picked a beautiful knife made of a metal Monsi had no idea about, and stubbed her own wrist. Monsi gasped, “Do not be worried Sweet sweet child, entertainment has its prizes, anyways I heal very fast. See?” She showed her wrist to Monsi and indeed there was not even a hint of a scar. The door opened and a sweet flowery breeze came from inside “is it inside or outside” thought Monsi. Kikimora went in immediately and shouted “sweet sweet boy come in, come in, spit-spot! the gate will soon close for the next one minute” Monsi stepped in or out or somewhere in between? he had no idea. He knew thought that he was standing with Kikimora in the middle of a forest. Kikimora had no more this alien air that she was carrying before in the club. Now Monsi realized that he was not different but in a sense incompatible with his surroundings, he did not belong there exactly and this is why perplexed as he was he asked “Where are we? Who are you? What are you? What is this place.” “We are home, my home and this is the only thing that you need to know at the moment” “but” “No but! I took you with me because we need to talk, I! need to talk… You will be listening silently, behaving yourself and without asking. There are many things to talk about and we don’t have much time.” The door behind them shut. “What can you possible say to me in just one minute” “Sweet sweet ignorant child the door will be closed for one minute at your home. Here the door will be closed for two hours. We have enough time. And as always she gave him a smile” “Who are you and what are you?” asked once more Monsi this time noticing for the first time the features of her face. Her face was defined with strong lines. Her big eyes seemed even larger because of her massive black and white eyebrows. Her mouth was firm with a hint of unburned lust. Her fat lips were deep crimson and their colour was even more emphasized by the extreme whiteness of her teeth. Every smile was a flash of white and red. Her chin, pointy, but strong gave her an imperial air of authority.
“Who am I? What am I? I am a creature of legends. Wizards raised me; I have never met my father. They said I was the Devils daughter. But no I have seen the Devil with my own eyes, I asked him, he refused, I was sad. But he taught me Scholomance. I bathed with him in the small lake the one that is immeasurably deep, and keeps all the knowledge of my world and I survived. I was dancing in my world from Dusk until dawn. I used to be the terror of the night without even harming anyone! I never harmed anyone! I was just building a reputation. Humans you see are very easily scared. Only my figure was enough, my presence, my name, my eyes, and my laugh. I am Kikimora and now I am just awfully bored with this world.”
“Humans? Wizards? Devil? This world? Where am I?”
“Not even an hour in this god forsaken planet and you are becoming like them… too focused! Now shut it! There is a revolution come in on, a great awakening, and you are part of it.”
“Me part of what? I do not understand”
“You don’t have to! We seriously need to leave from here otherwise your mind and perception will be altered! We need you not to understand! Just go with the flow! Enjoy the ride even if it is a complete nonsense. You had an epiphany right? A revelation some days ago?”
“I saw something yes! It was information about something… I need to focus”
“No No No !” said Kikimora exasperated “You mustn’t sweet sweet Child, otherwise you will be the doom of us. Look the alarm is already set! Two beings are on the hunt for you, the one is quick the other is slow. They were in the bar remember?”
“in the bar?”
“The two friars, wasn’t that conspicuous enough?”
“I’ve seen friars in a bar many times and believe me they were not only caressing each others pricks. They were on fire. F I R E!!!!”
“Oh sweet sweet child so innocent so pure, I wish you could stay like this forever. Alas these two friars are waiting at the moment to capture you. Put you on trial and kill you”
“Kill me? For what?”
“For what you saw. For what you may perceive. Because they know how dangerous is the knowledge you bare. And that is why in front of their eyes you are extremely dangerous. All their carefully designed plans are ready to be exposed."
“Am I?” asked Monsi and suddenly felt proud!
“Yes you are! But you are also of a low mental capacity. Now open your ears. Listen. Watch. Learn. FORGET!”
The door opened. They were back to the club. His hand was in bandages.
“That was fast!” said Rispa.
Monsi was confused “Yes it was fast, quite fast really! Thank you again.. eeeeerrrrrr what’s your name again?”
“Kikimora my young sweet sweet innocent child”
Monsi realized that there was also blood on the floor and that the big tigress was licking it from the floor. “What happened here?” “Nothing the friars next to us became very excited and they wanted me to join them. I refused but they were insisting, why wouldn’t they anyway, right? Anyways the tigress was annoyed and attacked them. They left being quite annoyed. Ok then Kikimora take your animal back please I am becoming quite bestial like your tigress”
Kikimora said nothing in reply to her impertinence She called kiki and they both left being obviously insulted.
“Ok come on Monsi let’s go to another bar. I don’t like it here anymore.” And drugged him outside.
“Did you really had to do this? Did you really had to insult her in such a way?”
“Oh come on, we had FUN”
“You had fun, I just got more confused than I was already, I wish I knew the meaning of all this”
“Confused about the AW, EK, PU ?”
“How do you know about it?”
“I saw it in the mirror… remember? Plus do you really think that our meeting and my insisting coming here was just a coincidence? Really? And I thought that you were literally smart… Thank god you are literally stupid, we need you that way. Do you remember anything ”
“Not really”
“But you remember she told you something right ?? And you remember who am I supposed to be?”
“My protector?”
“You are not that silly after all… come on… spit-spot we have a lot of work to do”
* * *
“It was he aye?” “Yes Mr Slow it was he” “What now?” Mr Quick smiled “We will finish what we started and got interrupted by that wild beast and then we will find the right time and place to do our dirty work” “You know perfectly Mr Quick that I never do dirty things, I demand that you rephrase!”
“Mr slow it is a figure of speech”
“Well do not speak figuratively about or to me. After all you know well that I am offering clean and nice deaths”
“Oh yes Mr Slow, I know you do indeed.”
“Mr Quick what about her and her filthy animal? She will be a problem you know….”
“We will have to make contact Mr Slow and quite soon. The confederation will unleash someone from her own world to take care of her, and anyways she is not under our jurisdiction at the moment.”
“Will she ever be Mr Quick?
“Oh Soon enough everyone will be under our jurisdiction Mr Slow. Everyone.”
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